Fifty Shades of Grey
by karatekid1018
Summary: Sequel to "Magic Mike". Cooper is coming home for a little while! But, can Kurt and Blaine even look at him without blushing? Find out! Rated T


**Well, my lovelies, I've been hearing rumors that Matt Bomer is going to play the lead in "Fifty Shades of Grey". The minute I heard that, the idea for this popped into my head. Welcome to the sequel of my fic "Magic Mike!" :)**

** Enjoy!**

"Kurt, we have a problem."

Kurt huffed, flopping down on Blaine's bed and looking up at his boyfriend.

"If this is about 'not having enough bowties', Blaine, trust me. You have enough," Kurt said, running his fingers through his tousled locks that were slowly falling loose from their aerosol-spray confines.

"No, it's far worse than that," Blaine said, sitting down next to Kurt. "My brother's coming home later."

"And?" Kurt asked, still not understanding what Blaine was getting at.

"Do you really think it's possible that we're going to be able to look him in the eye after what happened last weekend?" Blaine hissed since his mind still freshly scarred from seeing his brother in a _male-stripper movie_. Kurt's eyes widened, a look of pure horror replacing his annoyance.

"Oh my Lord," Kurt groaned, covering his eyes.

"Exactly," Blaine replied, falling on his face back rubbing his eyes with one hand. "How are we supposed to look at him without thinking of him thrusting in front of that woman's face?"

"Please, honey, don't remind me," Kurt said, trying to shake the thought away. "OK, there's no way we're getting out of this unless we change our names and move to Guatemala, which even _then _probably won't work because your brother is persistent. So, we're just going to grin and bear it and try not to be completely obvious that we're trying _not _to remember those disturbing images."

"Sounds like a plan," Blaine said with a sigh, wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist and dragging him fully onto the bed, laying them both on their sides and nuzzling his face into the crook of Kurt's neck.

"You smell _really_ good, KK," Blaine said blissfully, tugging his amused boyfriend closer.

"Oh, do I?" Kurt asked playfully. "What do I smell like, then?"

"Hmm…vanilla and strawberries and…cinnamon, strangely."

"Yes, that would be my strawberry-vanilla-scented body wash and my cinnamon shampoo you smell," Kurt commented, stroking Blaine's upper-arm.

"They _make _cinnamon shampoo?" Blaine asked incredulously. Kurt nodded humming as Blaine carded his fingers through his chestnut tresses that were highlighted with a bit of blonde from the summer sun. "Mm, I like it. Can I borrow it?"

"My shampoo is for straight hair, Blaine."

"Touché," Blaine murmured, burying his face further into Kurt's soft shirt. As Kurt began to lay kisses down his jaw, Blaine felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Blaine groaned, not wanting to move unless it was so he could be closer to the love of his life, but he had to move so he could grab his phone. He pressed an apologetic kiss to Kurt's lips before reading the text. His eyes widened in horror.

"Cooper's coming early," Blaine said.

"Oh my God, when?"

"He's in the driveway."

The two leaped as far away from each other as possible on the bed, knowing that Cooper would assault them with innuendos if they were less than a foot away from each other.

"If I start blushing, it's not because I'm attracted to him, I promise!" Kurt insisted, aware of Blaine's discomfort with his brother.

"I know, KK," Blaine said, reaching over to briefly take Kurt's hand. "Trust me; I'll probably be blushing, too. Oh, shh, here he comes, act natural!"

"Hey, Squirt!" Cooper said enthusiastically. Blaine forced a smile, pulling Cooper in for a brotherly hug.

"Hey Coop, I missed you," Blaine said happily, hiding his discomfort.

"And Kurt, buddy!" Cooper said. Without warning, he had Kurt scooped up in a bear hug in a matter of seconds. Kurt's face was bright red as he shot Blaine a look that clearly shouted _"HELP ME!_"

"OK, Coop, that's enough. I like my boyfriend without a broken spine, thanks," Blaine said, smiling when Kurt was released and immediately rushed to his side. Kurt kept his eyes trailed on the floor, trying to will away the redness of his cheeks.

"So, boys, what have you been doing in here all day?" Cooper asked, his voice teasing. Blaine just wrapped one arm around Kurt's waist, sticking his tongue out at his brother before pecking Kurt on the cheek.

"_Nothing_ besides cuddling, Coop."

"You expect me to believe that?" Cooper scoffed with an eyebrow wiggle. Blaine glared, squeezing Kurt's hip.

"Why are you so obsessed with my sex life, Cooper? Is it because you can only seem to have one in a movie?"

The minute the words left his mouth, Blaine covered it with one hand, his eyes impossibly wide.

"Wait, what?" Cooper asked. Kurt sighed.

"Alright, I guess we should let the cat out of the bag," Kurt said. "We…we kind of saw 'Magic Mike'."

You know how _Blaine's _eyes were impossibly wide? Yeah, Cooper's were three times wider.

"Oh my God," Cooper said. "I…Blaine, I _told _you not to go see it!"

"You should know that I never listen to you, Cooper! Remember the Red Pants Incident?"

"Oh my God, _Blaine_, we promised never to bring that up," Cooper hissed in embarrassment, his face bright red.

"What's the Red Pants Incident?" Kurt asked. Blaine blushed fire-engine red, and if he was just a _bit _redder, he would've matched Cooper.

"You _don't _want to know," the brothers chorused in unison.

"Honestly, Cooper, when you told me not to go see it, did you really believe I wouldn't defy you just to annoy you?" Blaine asked skeptically.

"Oh, I'm sorry Blaine, I didn't know you were _twelve_," Cooper argued back.

"Alright, you two, no slap fights," Kurt said with a chuckle, taking Blaine's hand. "Seriously, though, Cooper, 'Magic Mike'? Really?"

"Hey, I have the body for it," Cooper said, pulling a Superman pose. Kurt slapped himself on the forehead, while Blaine promptly fell on the bed, face-down.

"My brother is a male stripper," he groaned into the pillow. "Someone kill me now."

"Umm…maybe this is the best time to tell you I've snagged the role of Christian in 'Fifty Shades of Grey'?"

Kurt just gaped at his future brother-in-law (oh come on, they _all _knew it was gonna happen), while Blaine sat up and began banging his head against the wall.

"My brother is a male stripped _and _a porn star. Kurt, please grab my Dalton tie and strangle me with it."

"I like my boyfriend _alive_, Sweets, thank you very much."

"Well, I don't. I'd like me dead so I don't have to see my brother become a porn star."

"I'm not gonna be a porn star!" Cooper insisted.

"Have you _read _'Fifty Shades of Grey'?" Kurt asked, his cheeks more crimson than ever.

"…No."

The head-banging continued.

"My brother is a male stripper, a porn star, _and _an idiot," Blaine groaned.

"HEY!"

**Well…yeah. **

** Review?**


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